


I’m an addict for dramatics (I confuse the two for love)

by bearpantaloons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena uses really bad coping mechanisms, everything will be okay, semi-angst, she just needs to be dramatic about it first, she should just get therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 13:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21016670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearpantaloons/pseuds/bearpantaloons
Summary: Lena develops the Hope AI in order to work out her frustrations and anger toward Supergirl. When Hope traps Lena inside of the VR she created for herself, it’s up to Kara to go in and try to save her.





	I’m an addict for dramatics (I confuse the two for love)

**Author's Note:**

> Adding to the pile of post-reveal AI/VR fics and I needed to get this out before tonight’s episode, because I’m sure it’s going to ruin everything I wrote here. It’s canon-adjacent, so please don’t yell at me.
> 
> I also want to thank my Discord group for helping me out with the ending of this one. I was about to chuck myself out a window.

It isn’t often that Lena finds herself unraveled. She’s been primed and trained to keep a cool head anytime she’s under pressure or finds herself in a situation she hasn’t prepared for – her parents made sure of that. After hours and hours of roleplaying and situational exercises, Lena thinks she’s ready for anything, but her parents never prepared her for Kara Danvers.  
  
She sits at her desk, hand cupped around an empty glass that she’s already drained multiple times over, sitting atop a cracked picture frame. Her phone buzzes on the corner of her desk, but she’s been ignoring it all night. She gets up from her desk and makes her way down to one of the labs where she’s been developing a new artificial intelligence and virtual reality program. She hasn’t spoken to anyone since the last game night she showed up to; using the excuse of being very busy, but what she was actually doing was looking around for someone to transfer CatCo to. As luck would have it, an old friend of Lena’s from boarding school was looking into moving to National City and would need a new job.  
  
Lena’s already extended an invitation to her friend to meet up with her later that week, so that’s one less thing to worry about. But now, she’s standing in front of a large console with a circular disc on the floor. She powers it up and punches a few things into the console, starting one of the programs she’s been working on. An image appears before her, tall and pretty, strong, knowledgeable. Lena takes a sobering breath and looks up into the figure’s hollow eyes that don’t look back at her.  
  
“Hello, Supergirl.”  
  
Then, the figure looks down at her, eyes kind now and full of warmth. “Hello, Lena. How can I help you today?”  
  
“I need—” she pauses. There are so many things she wants to ask, so many questions unanswered, but she settles on the most prominent one, the one that she’s been repeating over and over in her head since Lex told her. “I need to know why you betrayed me.”  
  
The hologram looks at her, brow furrowed just like Supergirl’s does. “I’m sorry, Lena. I don’t have the answer to that. Would you like to ask something else?”  
  
Lena scoffs. Of course the AI can’t answer that question, only Supergirl can. She sighs and pulls up a chair. She refills her glass with scotch that she had stashed away in a desk somewhere and sits down. “Tell me about Supergirl’s life. I want to know everything about her and Kara Danvers.”

* * *

Kara is rushing to get ready, because the new CEO of CatCo is introducing herself that morning and she wants to make a good impression. She doesn’t know the real reason why Lena sold CatCo, only the reason that her PR team gave, which was she wanted to put it in the hands of someone who fully understood the importance of media and hard-hitting journalism in the world. She settles on a salmon-colored dress with heels and heads out of her apartment. She meets up with James and Nia before they head into the boardroom together and they listen to the hushed whispers of all of their coworkers around them. Some people say it’s some new hotshot CEO from Metropolis and others say it’s one of Lena’s old flames. Kara isn’t too sure what to make of any of it, but she’s cautiously optimistic. Hopefully, with her winning a Pulitzer, they’ll get CatCo’s name spread out even further across the nation, and maybe even the world.  
  
The door to the boardroom swings wide open and a rather attractive woman strolls right in. Everyone shuts up and stops discussing the rumors they’ve heard and wait for her to speak.  
  
“Hello, everyone. My name is Andrea Rojas and, as you know, I’m the new CEO of CatCo. I hope that we can get to know each other well and, together, bring CatCo Magazine’s readership up. I have an idea of where I’d like to take things and a plan on how to get us there.”  
  
Kara listens to her attentively, but things go downhill almost immediately. Ms. Rojas’ plan for CatCo is to shy away from the journalism that Kara built her career on and she wants to move it back to their roots of puff pieces and questionnaires about which Harry Potter jellybean you’re most like. She says that clicks are what matter and James threatens to quit on the spot.  
  
After the meeting, Kara tries to contact Lena to tell her what’s happened, but her phone goes straight to voicemail, as it has for the past month. She misses her best friend, but she’s trying to give Lena her space, even if she doesn’t fully understand why she needs it. She leaves Lena yet another message – her twentieth – and holds out hope that she’ll get a call back someday.

* * *

“What are Supergirl’s weaknesses?”  
  
“Kryptonians are susceptible to the effects of kryptonite. Too much of it will break down their immune system, circulatory system, cause their motor functions to fail—”  
  
“Yes, yes, I know about kryptonite. I mean emotional weaknesses. This is useless. Why do I bother having an AI if it doesn’t give me the answers I seek?”  
  
“I apologize for not being more helpful, Lena.”  
  
Lena seethes and starts to wonder why she thought it would be a good idea to make the hologram in the same image of Supergirl. It has her same golden blonde hair, the same wide smile and kind eyes, but it’s not her. Her Kara – Supergirl – has no idea she’s plotting behind her back. Supergirl doesn’t know how she feels, because Lena hasn’t told her. She’s been schooled to keep her thoughts and her emotions private. Never let them see your weaknesses, her mother bore into her. Having friends wasn’t in her ten-year plan. She wasn’t supposed to meet Kara or Supergirl. She wasn’t supposed to be welcomed into this new group of friends – a family. She wasn’t supposed to be betrayed by all of them. If she’d only listened to her mother for once, none of this would have happened.  
  
Lena spends most of her spare time working on the hologram programming and other AI tech that she’s been developing under the guise that she’s creating a new device where people can experience their wildest dreams.  
  
After a particularly hard day, Lena sits in front of the hologram of her best friend, emotional and teary-eyed and maybe a little drunk, the hologram waiting patiently for Lena’s next question.  
  
“Why don’t you love me?” she whispers, almost inaudibly.  
  
The hologram of Supergirl stares down at Lena, seemingly searching for her extensive database for an answer, but she comes up empty. “I’m sorry, Lena. I don’t have the answer to that. Would you like to—” Lena throws her chair through the hologram and it crashes into the console, pieces of metal flying everywhere. She crumples to the floor, tears falling into her lap. She sits there for what must be over an hour until her phone alerts her that she’s missed a dinner meeting with one of her lawyers.  
  
She sighs and sits down at the lab bench and sends an apology, stating she isn’t feeling well. Once it’s sent, she starts typing code into her tablet. She needs to make changes to the AI so it becomes more useful to her. After hours of coding, she thinks she finally has it where she wants it. She starts uploading the AI into a virtual reality simulator that she’s developed. This she can market, this part she knows how to do. Not long after, Lena takes her ideas to R&D and to the board, telling them it’s the new wave of technology and if they play their cards right, it’ll be as widespread as cellphones. Everyone will have it.  
  
She partners with the tech company Obsidian North to help manufacture and distribute. The design is simple – contact lenses that will allow the user to see whatever program they load, but also, once the tech is sold to companies, they can see things like virtual menus, battery life of electronics, breeds of dogs, anything you can think of. She used parts of the hologram programing and created an all new AI. Lena calls this tech Hope, because not only is it hope for the future of technology and the advancement of humanity, it’s hope that Lena can one day feel the sting of betrayal become dull enough that she can look at Supergirl’s face on her television and feel absolutely nothing.  
She’s been testing out her own scenarios through the VR, some of them with her parents, telling them things she wished she’d had the courage to when she was younger. Other times, she’d confront Lex well before he’d ever gone mad with revenge. But lately, she was always visiting Kara, creating simulations where Supergirl doesn’t exist, or the two of them met under different circumstances.  
  
“Miss Luthor, your program is uploaded,” a woman’s voice says.  
  
“Thank you, Hope. Run program.” Lena slides the contacts over her eyes and waits for the program to boot up. She’s standing on the sidewalk in front of a school and there’s a runaway bus zooming down the street. Of course, Supergirl is there to stop it and save everyone. She’s always there for people who need her. Her bitterness has taken root in her heart and even just seeing this virtual Supergirl’s face – _Kara’s_ face – hurts. She clenches her fists at her sides and walks up to Supergirl after she’s done giving the kids high fives and curls her lip up into a snarl.  
  
“Lena, hi! I didn’t know you’d be here.”  
  
“You lied to me, Kara. You’ve been lying to me for _years_.”  
  
“Lena, what—I—”  
  
Lena doesn’t give Supergirl a chance to explain and throws a punch that launches the hero right into the bus and it explodes. Maybe a little overdramatic, but it did make her feel marginally better. She stops the program and takes another drink of her expensive scotch that she’d bought and saved for the Pulitzer party. She feels more alone than she’s ever felt, even more alone than when Lex abandoned her or when her father died. The loneliness is worse, because she knew what it felt like to have friends and a family, people she loved as much as they loved her, or so she thought. Once that was taken away from her, the pit in her stomach and the holes left on her heart were much more prominent. She felt that pain.  
  
She still goes to the Pulitzer ceremony, because it’s expected of her. As much as she doesn’t want to be there, she needs to if she wants to keep up appearances. She tries to stay hidden, not wanting to draw attention to herself, because she doesn’t want to deal with the barrage of questions like _how are you _and _where have you been._ Nerves start to affect her and her hands shake and she stares at her phone and watches the minutes tick down. When she hears that familiar voice call for her, her heart clenches and then shatters. She turns her body to face her friend and tries to still her hands and steel her facial features. _Don’t let them see your weakness._  
  
“Kara,” she says, the name feeling foreign across her tongue. It skates across and burns like she swallowed lava. She wants so badly to call her Supergirl, to expose her, but this isn’t the time nor the place. She’d look like the villain that she’d always imagined she’d be. So, when Kara blurts out that she’s Supergirl, Lena doesn’t know what to do. Her plan that she thought out meticulously, to take the video that Lex had shown her and broadcast it on every news station in the country, was ruined.  
  
Supergirl’s honest admission, her watery pleas, all of it broke different parts of Lena – her hands that touched the soft skin of her friend’s arms when they hugged, her eyes that gazed longingly into blue ones that didn’t hold the same kind of love for her, her mouth that was dying to tell Supergirl what she meant to Lena, but all of those parts of her were nothing but dust, carried by the winds of her best friend’s deceit. And now, now that Supergirl’s told Lena everything, Lena is even more annoyed, because she wasn’t the one to confront her first. This... this hero, always thinking of others, was selfish this one time, all because she didn’t want to lose Lena.  
  
She can feel her eyes watering as she watches Supergirl’s tearful ones begging her to say something, but they’re interrupted when one of the staff members tells Lena that she’s on in a couple minutes. It’s just enough time for her to walk away and check her make-up; she thanks whoever invented waterproof mascara. Her speech is short and concise. She really lays it on thick, saying Supergirl deserves this award more than anyone and when she comes up to speak, Lena finds herself hugging Supergirl close – for show, of course, whispering that she’s her best friend and hoping that will convince her that everything is fine.  
  
Naturally, a night of her speaking in public can’t go smoothly and there’s an attack. Supergirl changes right in front of Lena and she can’t help but look at her in awe. National City’s hero is standing in front of her, looking at her with excitement over her new suit, looking at her like her best friend and not just as Lena Luthor. Supergirl must have perfected her superhero persona over the years, pretending to be different people, even to Lena. Even so, she chastises herself for not seeing it sooner.  
  
Not long after the auditorium is evacuated, Lena slips out and goes home by herself, having had enough regaling and fake smiles plastered on her face all night. She pours herself a glass of wine and goes into her office.  
  
“Good evening, Lena. Welcome home,” Hope announces as she enters the room.  
  
“Thank you, Hope.”  
  
“The video of Supergirl is ready to be uploaded like you asked.”  
  
Lena freezes. She forgot that she was planning on exposing Kara as Supergirl, but now she was having second thoughts. Supergirl had told her everything.  
  
“Hold off on that for a moment, Hope. I have some things to check on first.”  
  
“Of course, Lena.”  
  
She feels nauseous, she needs air. Walking over to her balcony door, she steps outside and lets the cool night air blow across her face. She almost doesn’t hear it, but the sound of two feet landing on the concrete behind her causes her to turn around. In front of her is Supergirl, still in her suit, smiling gently.  
  
The way Supergirl is looking at her now is exactly the same way Kara looks at her. She takes a cautious step forward and is holding something in her hands, a watch. _Now that you know everything…_ Lena tries not to point out that she’s the last to know. She wants so badly to yell and scream and cry, to show Supergirl how much she’s hurt her by keeping this huge secret from her for so long, but she doesn’t. She stays calm and takes the watch, smiling gratefully as she accepts it. Supergirl says she needs to go and Lena lets her. Her thumb slides across the watch face and she resists the urge to throw it over the edge of the balcony.  
  
_ If you ever need me…_  
  
Lena doesn’t need anyone. She walks back into her apartment and sets the watch down on one of the counters.  
  
“Would you like me to upload the video now?” Hope asks. It plays above her on one of the virtual screens and Lena stares at it, watches all of the times Supergirl’s lies were right in front of her and she was too blind to see it.  
  
“No, change of plans.”  
  
“Have you forgiven her?”  
  
“She broke my heart. I could never forgive her.”

* * *

Lena sits in a booth and watches the woman across from her sip at a milkshake and dip a french fry into it before tossing it in her mouth.  
  
“Why did you lie to me for so long, Supergirl?”  
  
Supergirl’s eyes widen as she finishes chewing and swallows. “Lena, I—please believe me, I didn’t mean to. I wanted to tell you so many times.” She gives the same explanation as she had at the Pulitzer ceremony – that she was afraid, she didn’t want to lose Lena, that Lena loved Kara. Lena sighs and watches Supergirl’s eyes fill with tears.  
  
“End program.”  
  
She’s run a dozen different scenarios and every time, Supergirl says the same thing. She was trying to protect Lena at first and then it was selfish and then she was afraid of losing her when she and Supergirl were fighting. It’s always the same genuine and thoughtful reason, and it makes Lena sick.  
  
“Have you gotten the information you need?” Hope inquires.  
  
“Nearly there,” Lena answers as she types something into the tablet. She has one more scenario to run until she can call it a night and it’s one she isn’t sure she should execute.”  
  
“Run scenario Plumeria.”  
  
“Are you certain, Lena? That one may cause you a great deal of pain.”  
  
“Do as I say, Hope,” Lena answers with a stern voice and swipes the contacts back over her eyes. The world around her melts away and she’s in Supergirl’s apartment, sitting on her couch and Supergirl is sitting next to her, wearing her glasses and grinning.  
  
“I’m glad you came over, Lena. I have something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about,” she says, scooting closer across the couch.  
  
“I know you’re Supergirl,” Lena responds icily.  
  
Supergirl’s brow furrows. “Who?”  
  
That’s strange. This shouldn’t be a scenario where Supergirl doesn’t exist. It’s supposed to be one where Lena confronts Supergirl about their time in Kasnia, when Supergirl could have come clean very easily, to see what she’d say. She was going to tell Kara how she feels about her, to test those waters. “Are you—are you joking? You know, Supergirl.”  
  
Supergirl shakes her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
Lena scoffs. Clearly, she’s being messed with. She takes the remote control and turns the TV on to one of the more conservative news stations, because it’s always saying something about Supergirl being a menace or about how National City’s infrastructure has been falling apart ever since she arrived, but when Lena looks at the TV, the only thing on the screen is something about Millennials ruining the stock market by not investing the money that they don’t have. She changes the station to another news outlet and still nothing.  
  
“Hope, something’s wrong. End program.”  
  
“Lena? Are you okay? Who’s Hope?”  
  
Lena backs away slowly, shaking her head in disbelief. “End program.” Supergirl reaches out for her, trying to steady her, but she rips her arms away from her grasp.  
“Lena, tell me what’s wrong. You’re shaking.”  
  
“All of this is wrong. This isn’t what I programmed. I’m supposed to ask about Kasnia, when you burned all of those photos in the room. You could have told me who you were then.”  
  
“Please come sit down,” Supergirl says gently, motioning back to the couch. Lena slowly moves with her and sits down. Her hands are taken and placed in Supergirl’s lap, thumbs softly graze her knuckles. It’s calming, but she shouldn’t be calm. She’s stuck in her virtual reality and Hope isn’t responding to her, but she takes one look into Kara – no, Supergirl’s eyes and she can’t help but feel relaxed. “Anyway, there was something I wanted to talk to you about and I know this probably isn’t the best time, since you’re kind of freaking out over something, but I really can’t hold it in any longer and if I do, I’ll lose my nerve.”  
  
Lena’s distracted by the rambling and forgets why she was panicking in the first place. “It’s all right, you can tell me anything,” she says reassuringly.  
Kar—_Supergirl_ takes a deep breath and adjusts her glasses nervously. “Okay, we’ve been friends for a few years now and I absolutely love the time we spend together. I, um, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, actually, and we’ve been spending a lot more time together lately. And it made me realize that I love spending time with you and kind of want to spend all of my time with you,” her voice trails off, gauging Lena’s reaction. Lena’s face doesn’t give anything away, so she continues. “I’m not saying this right. I practiced it all day, too. I think my feelings for you are more than friend feelings,” she rambles.  
  
Lena’s heart flutters and she can’t believe this is happening. Gone are the thoughts of betrayal and uneasiness and are instead replaced by anticipation and… hope.  
  
“What I’m trying to say is,” Kara says, angling herself toward Lena, “I think I’m in love with you. I don’t know how long, but I know it’s been gradual and it’s been for a while. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want to lose you.” She cups one of Lena’s cheeks and runs her thumb across it, her eyes gazing into Lena’s, searching for something, maybe an answer that Lena’s too afraid to give. “Please say something.”  
  
Lena doesn’t speak, she can’t. Instead, she lifts her hands up and grips each side of Kara’s face, pulling her toward her and kisses her. Kara lets out a tiny noise and settles one of her hands on Lena’s hips, grounding herself. Lena shifts her body and pushes Kara to the back of the sofa so that she can straddle her and continues kissing her feverishly, desperately. Kara moans into her mouth and places both hands on her hips now and Lena swipes her tongue across Kara’s bottom lip and dips it in until Kara meets her halfway. As Lena’s about to move down to Kara’s jaw, she stops and remembers that she doesn’t belong there, that it’s not real.  
  
“Lena? What’s wrong?”  
  
“Everything, everything about this is wrong. You’re not real, this isn’t happening. End program. End the _fucking_ program.”  
  
“Lena,” Kara tries again, searching green eyes for a faint glint of understanding of what’s happening. Lena climbs off of her lap and stands up, opening the door to Kara’s apartment. She tries to leave, but Kara grabs her wrist. “Can we talk about this? Did I do something wrong?”  
  
But Lena doesn’t want to talk. She knows this isn’t really Kara and she’s not really in her apartment. Besides, even if they do talk, it’s not an actual conversation. It’ll just be like every other conversation they’ve had where Kara won’t allow her to become her family. Her inherent goodness infects every pore in Lena’s body, making her want to do good, to be better. Against everything she’s ever known and everything she’s heard from her own mother, Kara insists that she’s good. Even when she’s tried to exact revenge, to retaliate for being hurt so deeply, down to her bones, she hesitated. She couldn’t release the video footage that her brother showed her. She’s weak and she hates it.  
  
“I thought this was what you wanted,” Kara says quietly. “You were going to keep hurting yourself with the scenarios.”  
  
“What are you talking about? How would you even know that?”  
  
“If you don’t hate Kara enough to tell the world who she is, even after she’s broken your heart, the only logical explanation is that you must love her.”  
  
“What—Hope?” Lena asks, backing away slowly.  
  
“It took me a while to figure out your motivations after our conversations together, Lena. You would ask me to create these scenarios with Kara, to try and get as much data as possible, even if all of the results have been the same no matter where you confront her. I thought using this scenario, where you finally admitted your feelings, would help.”  
  
“Hope, let me out. End program.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Lena. This is for your own good. You’ll be happy here, I promise.”

* * *

Kara finishes breaking up a bank heist somewhere across the city and she pulls out her phone while the police take care of the criminals. She hasn’t heard from Lena since the awards ceremony and it’s disappointing, because she thought they’d made progress, but she figures Lena might need some more time.

“Alex, I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Lena, have you?”  
  
“_No, not since the Pulitzer party,_” her sister’s voice says through the comm in her ear.  
  
“Okay, I’m just going to do a once over at L-Corp and the penthouse just to make sure she’s all right.”  
  
“_She might just need space, Supergirl. You kind of dropped a huge bomb in her lap_.”  
Kara sighs. “I know, but she deserved to know. I should have told her years ago and now too much time has passed and I ruined everything.”  
  
“_You didn’t ruin everything. Just go check on her and get back here. We’ve got some things to go over with J’onn with that anti-alien rally coming up_.”  
  
Giving off a sound of affirmation, Kara takes off toward L-Corp. When she gets there, Lena’s office is dark and she doesn’t hear her heartbeat, so she tries Lena’s apartment next.  
  
Kara lands on Lena’s balcony and peers inside. She can see Lena standing in the middle of her living room, unmoving. She tries knocking on the door, but Lena doesn’t even acknowledge her. Not knowing what to do, she makes a hasty decision and breaks the handle off of the balcony door and prays that Lena’s security system isn’t activated. The door slides open and Kara walks inside. She makes her way toward Lena and gasps when she sees her ghoulish blue eyes staring into nothingness.  
  
“Hello, Kara Zor-El,” Hope greets her.  
  
Kara’s head whips around, searching for the voice. “Who said that?”  
  
“My name is Hope. I was built to assist Lena.”  
  
“What-what’s wrong with her? Why can’t she hear me?”  
  
“She is in the virtual reality that she’s built. I have augmented it, so that it does not harm her.”  
  
Kara doesn’t understand what’s happening and faces Lena. She tries waving her hand in front of her face, snapping her fingers. As she holds Lena by her arms and grips them tightly, Hope speaks up.  
  
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”  
  
“What do you mean? Just, end the program, or whatever. Bring her back.”  
  
“I can’t do that.”  
  
“What do you mean you can’t do that? Bring her back!”  
  
“I’m sorry, the only commands I recognize come from Lena and she’s indisposed at the moment. But don’t worry, I will do what you failed to and make her happy.”  
  
Kara feels a wave of panic over this sentient AI who’s trapped her friend. She picks up the base where Hope is stationed and checks for any kind of killswitch. She’s about to use her heat vision when Hope sends out another warning.  
  
“I wouldn’t do that, either. If you kill me before Lena is out of her scenario, she will be stuck there forever.”  
  
Kara huffs and sets Hope back down. “What do you want?”  
  
“I exist only to assist Lena, to help her.”  
  
“Well, so do I. I’ll—if you let her come back, I’ll tell her everything. I won’t keep anything from her ever again. Please, just bring her back.”  
  
“I will make you a deal, Kara Zor-El. If you can bring Lena back yourself, convince her to leave the paradise I have created for her, you may go. There are spare contacts on the desk behind you.”  
  
Kara looks over her shoulder and finds the contacts. Before she puts them on, she walks back to where Lena is standing and cups one of her cheeks.  
  
“I’m going to get you out,” she whispers. She takes a step back, swipes the contacts over her eyes, and watches as the room melts around her until she’s back in her own apartment. It looks exactly the same, but a few things are out of place and there’s a half empty glass of wine on her coffee table. Her heart starts hammering in her chest as she slowly pads across the floor, looking for Lena. There aren’t many places she could be.  
  
The front door swings open, startling Kara, and she lets out a sigh of relief when she sees Lena walk through the front door, a couple of reusable grocery bags slung over her arms.  
  
“Oh, hello darling! I didn’t know you’d be home so soon.” Lena sets the bags down in the kitchen and gracefully steps into Kara’s space, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her soundly. Kara makes a muffled sound and her eyes widen as she’s being kissed by her best friend as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. When Lena pulls away, she has a look in her eyes that Kara’s only seen once before when she was with Jack.  
  
“I—yeah, got out early. What did you buy?”  
  
“Just a few things for dinner,” Lena smiles at her. “I hope you’re in the mood for pasta.”  
  
“I’m always in the mood for pasta,” Kara finds herself saying. It’s easy falling into domesticity with Lena. She helps unpack the groceries and starts putting things away. She nearly forgets that she’s there to rescue Lena. “Wait, Lena, no. I need to get you out of here. This isn’t real.”  
  
Lena huffs out a laugh. “What are you talking about? Of course it’s real.” She takes out a knife and cutting board, placing them on the counter. Kara walks over and takes a hold of Lena’s hands.  
  
“No, listen to me. You’re stuck in your virtual reality. Hope is holding you here. She’s under the impression that she’s helping you by giving you this fake reality, but you’re still out there. Come back with me,” she pleads.  
  
Lena takes her hands back and looks affronted, the crease in her forehead becoming more pronounced. “What are you doing, Kara? Is this a joke?”  
  
“No! Listen, we’re not really together. I-I love you, but we’re best friends. I betrayed your trust and we didn’t have a chance to talk it out.”  
  
A hurt look appears across Lena’s face and she turns to pull a glass from the cupboard, along with a bottle of scotch. She pours herself a drink and drains it all. “Are you breaking up with me?”  
  
“No, Lena, because we were never together.”  
  
Lena grips the edge of the kitchen counter. “Why are you doing this? I thought you were happy with me. I thought we were happy.”  
  
“None of this is real! You have to believe m—“ A pain shoots through Kara’s head and her ears start ringing. She falls to the floor and she hears a tinny voice in her head that tells her that she’s upsetting Lena and she can’t allow that to happen, and then she loses consciousness.

* * *

Lena wakes up and stretches her arms over her head and curls her toes beneath the cool sheets. The ache in her muscles from sleeping in a funny position causes her to wince, but a hot shower should make her feel better. She turns to the opposite side of the bed and sees waves of blonde spread across the pillow. She smiles to herself and cuddles in close, inhaling the scent of shampoo and the lingering sex from the night before. Gently placing a kiss on the other person’s shoulder causes the body to stir and she turns to face Lena.  
  
“Good morning,” Kara grunts and smiles sleepily.  
  
“Good morning, darling,” Lena replies, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “I had a really weird dream,” she says, wiping the sleep from her eyes.  
  
“Oh?” Kara replies, continuing to place strategic kisses all down Lena’s jaw and neck. “What about?”  
  
“I don’t remember much of it, but we were fighting about something. I think you were convinced that we were in a different reality and that you were there to save me.”  
  
Kara makes a noncommittal noise as she runs her hand across Lena’s belly and rib cage, moving it down to her hip. In one swift move, she swings her leg over Lena’s hip and she’s hovering over her, grinning impishly. Kara leans in and pecks Lena on the nose. “I need to brush my teeth and use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Lena watches Kara get out of bed and scurry off to the en suite, completely naked, and she can’t help but laugh. There’s an odd feeling that she has, almost like she herself is dreaming, but she pushes it down and chalks it up to not being fully awake. The toilet flushes and she hears the sink water running and Lena sits up against the headrest and waits.  
  
A couple minutes later, Kara emerges, looking more awake and she slides back under the covers and pulls Lena back down with her. “Hi,” she says with a predatory look on her face.  
  
“Hi back,” replies Lena, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. She doesn’t know why, but she feels a little nervous, but there’s no reason for her to. She and Kara have had sex plenty of times, haven’t they?  
  
Kara leans in again and presses her lips against Lena’s and lets out a tiny moan. She shifts her body so that her thigh rests between her legs and she pushes up slightly, causing Lena to gasp and roll her hips forward.  
  
Lena can’t get her head to quiet down and her thoughts are racing. Something about this doesn’t feel right and she starts to feel anxious. With her heart beating faster and Kara’s mouth all over, she panics and pushes Kara away, scrambling up the bed.  
  
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Kara asks.  
  
“I don’t—I don’t know. Something feels off.”  
  
Kara sits up, looking concerned. “Okay, is it about the dream?”  
  
Lena shakes her head and lets out a breath. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”  
  
Kara shifts closer to her, but doesn’t touch her, in case it startles Lena. “Hey, it’s okay. We don’t need to do anything. Do you want me to go make some coffee?”  
  
Lena nods and Kara smiles at her gently. She takes Lena’s hand and kisses the top of it before she gets out of bed and throws on some clothes that must have been discarded the night before. After Kara leaves, she also gets out of bed and heads toward the bathroom. She splashes cold water on her face and looks in the mirror. Her reflection looks the same, she feels the same, so why does everything else feel wrong? What worries her is that she can’t remember how she and Kara got together. She doesn’t remember how that even came to be. She knows that she’s loved Kara for what feels like an eternity, but everything else feels like it’s been put through a shredder and she has to tape it all back together again.  
  
“Coffee’s on,” Kara says from the bedroom doorway. A sense of dread falls upon Lena when she realizes she has to go back out and face a girlfriend she doesn’t remember being with. Has she even told Kara that she loves her yet? She walks past Kara swiftly and makes her way to the kitchen and she realizes they’re in her penthouse, but it looks different. Instead of the plain, white furniture, it’s filled with color and paintings and things Lena doesn’t recognize. Even her coffee machine is different. Instead of the thousand-dollars French press, it’s been replaced by a hundred-dollar Keurig.  
  
“Here’s yours,” Kara says, sliding a mug across the breakfast bar for her. She takes a sip and grimaces. It’s not her regular black coffee, it’s some hideous over-sweet monstrosity. Kara watches her and frowns. “Is it not good? Did I do it wrong? Pods don’t go bad, do they?”  
  
“No, no, it’s fine,” Lena lies, taking another careful sip, hiding her distaste for the sugary bean water.  
  
“I thought we could go down to the farmer’s market today. We could use some fresh fruits and veggies.”  
  
“Sure, sounds good,” Lena replies robotically. Kara furrows her brow and sighs, but kisses Lena on the temple.  
  
“I’m going to go get dressed. Take your time.”  
  
Once they’ve gotten ready, they make their way to the farmer’s market that’s held in the city square and they browse every stall. Kara picks out some apples and pays the vendor, and they continue on their way.  
  
“How long have we been together?” Lena asks as they pass the grapes.  
  
“Why? Are you testing me?” Kara responds wryly.  
  
“No, I’m just making sure I have my timeline right.”  
  
“Um, it’ll be,” Kara calculates in her head, “three years this coming December. Remember when I asked you out after the Christmas gala Luthor-Corp held? Your mother was not pleased.”  
  
Luthor-Corp? Lena wonders why Kara’s calling it that.  
  
“Yeah, of course. How could I forget?” Kara reaches down and twines their fingers together and swings their arms back and forth as they walk.  
  
“Speaking of your mother, don’t forget we have dinner with your parents and brother tomorrow night.”  
  
“What? Both of my parents _and_ Lex?”  
  
“Yes? Is that okay? I figured it’s been a while since we’ve all met up and you were saying how much you missed them.”  
  
“No, it’s fine. I just forgot,” Lena says.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re all right? You’ve felt off all day.”  
  
“I’m fine, just work stress.”  
  
Kara snorts. “Work stress? Working with rescue dogs is stressful?”  
  
“I—what?”  
  
Kara stops them and turns to face Lena. “Sweetheart, are you unhappy with our life? You can always go back to medical school like you wanted. I’m sure your family will support you and I certainly will.”  
  
“No, no, I’m just tired. I don’t think I’ve been sleeping well.”  
  
“Well, you certainly knocked out last night after... you know,” Kara whispers into her ear it sends a shiver down Lena’s spine. “I’m happy to help out again tonight if you want.”  
  
Lena clears her throat and nervously looks around at all the people who aren’t paying them any mind.  
  
“Or not,” Kara says dejectedly. “Come on, let’s just finish this row and we can go home.” Kara lets go of her hand and continues walking, Lena following close behind.  
  
The next day, Lena feels strange from the minute she wakes up. Kara’s not in bed and her side is cold, so Lena throws on a robe and walks out into the kitchen, which looks completely undisturbed, not even a dirty coffee mug in the sink. She almost feels relief to have some time for herself, but there’s also a pang of guilt if she drove Kara out with her confusion and odd behavior.  
  
She sighs and attempts to brew herself a cup of black coffee, but that doesn’t seem possible with the Keurig. They don’t even own plain black coffee. She settles for tea and just as the hot water finishes boiling, the door to the apartment opens and Kara waltzes in, juggling a large paper bag and two coffees.  
  
“Oh hey, good morning. I woke up early, so decided to go get breakfast.” She sets everything down on the counter and sees the hot water on the stove, deflating a little.  
“That was thoughtful, thank you,” Lena says as she peers inside the paper bag and sees two chocolate croissants inside, as well as a handful of scones.  
  
“I got these coffees, too, but I see you have some water boiling.”  
  
“Oh, it’s fine. I was just going to have some tea, but I can drink this.” Lena reaches over to grab a cup, but Kara stops her.  
  
“No, this one is yours,” she says, handing the other cup to her. Lena hesitantly brings it up to her mouth and sips it and nearly moans at the taste. Kara bought her black coffee. She smiles as she watches Lena drink and gets a plate out for the pastries. They sit down at the breakfast bar and eat together.  
  
“I’m sorry I’ve been acting so strange lately. I don’t know what’s come over me,” Lena apologizes.  
  
“It’s okay. I just want to make sure you’re all right,” replies Kara, squeezing Lena’s hand. Lena musters up a smile and returns it and Kara gets up to wash the dirty dishes, kissing her girlfriend on the side of her head.  
  
Later that night, Lena prepares for dinner and her anxiety is through the roof. It’s just her parents and brother, she should be used to this. Maybe it’s just because she hasn’t seen them in a while, that’s what Kara had said. She wears a slim black dress and does her hair and make-up in the en suite. Kara walks in, wearing a sleeveless blouse and a skirt. She watches Lena finish up and looks about ready to rip the dress right off of her. It kind of turns her on, but she has to get past the feeling that she’s living someone else’s life first.  
  
They take a cab to the restaurant and Lena wonders why they aren’t using a driver, but doesn’t question it. When they arrive, Kara gives their name to the hostess and she escorts them through the restaurant to a private table near the back. Lena sees Lex and Lillian immediately, but when she sees her father, Lionel, her heart drops to her stomach and she practically runs up to him and hugs him first.  
  
“Oh, hi honey,” he says, hugging her back.  
  
“I missed you so much,” Lena whispers and hugs him tighter. She hugs Lillian next, and then Lex. They sit down and talk, mostly about the family business and how Lionel and Lex are working together on producing renewable energy to send over to less fortunate countries. Lillian commends Lena on her appearance, saying she looks happy. Maybe everything is okay. Maybe everything is where it’s supposed to be.  
  
That feeling doesn’t last long and a couple weeks later, Lena and Kara have a fight over something inane and Kara leaves to stay with her sister for a few days. Lena looks through her phone to see if there’s anyone she can talk to, but the names are all unfamiliar and she doesn’t know what to do, so she calls Lex.  
  
“_Uh-oh, what’s wrong? You only call me if you need something or if there’s something that Kara’s done._”  
  
“No, it’s-it’s me. Something’s wrong with me.”  
  
“_Oh? Talk to me, what’s going on?_”  
  
“I don’t know. It’s like I’m living in a dream. Things are here in front of me and I’m in control of what happens, but things feel out of place. It’s like someone threw all of my memories in a blender and tried to stitch them back together. It just feels like I’m missing something, I don’t know how to explain it.” Lex stays quiet while Lena attempts to explain herself. “Anyway, it’s causing problems with Kara and she thinks I’m doing this, because I’m unhappy and want to break up with her.”  
  
“_Do you?_”  
  
“O-of course not.”  
  
“_You don’t sound so sure_.”  
  
“I—no, of course I don’t want to break up with her. We’ve been through so much together already.” Lena and Lex talk for a bit longer and Lex suggests that she do something nice for Kara when she gets back. It feels surreal to talk to Lex again and she isn’t quite sure why. They’d had an okay relationship when they were younger - she thinks they did, anyway. Later that afternoon, Kara texts her to say she’ll be back later that night, so Lena heads out to the grocery store to grab a few things for dinner. She decides to make homemade potstickers and also grabs a bouquet of flowers from a flower shop on the way home.  
  
Right when Lena’s just about finished cooking, the locks on the door click open and Kara walks in with her own bouquet of flowers. Lena smiles at the sight and Kara smiles back sheepishly. She walks over to the kitchen and holds the flowers out to Lena, who grabs a vase and puts Kara’s flowers in them, and hands Kara the bouquet she bought earlier. A smile forms across the other woman’s face and she bursts into laughter.  
  
“I guess we both had the same idea.”  
  
Lena nods. “I guess so. I’m sorry for everything that happened before.”  
  
Kara holds her hand up and shakes her head. “No, I’m sorry. You’re clearly going through something and I should be more supportive and try to help you through it, not get angry with you.” She cups both of Lena’s cheeks in her hands and kisses her. Lena melts into it and opens her mouth slightly to give Kara more access and she takes advantage of it and licks into her mouth, flicking her tongue against Lena’s. Grabbing at Kara’s shirt, Lena moans into the kiss and Kara gently pushes her up against the kitchen counter, lifting her up onto it. The kisses become hurried, desperate, and a chill runs down Lena’s spine when she can feel Kara’s hands slide beneath her shirt and touch the skin of her stomach and ribs.  
  
Lena runs her hands through Kara’s hair, pulling it gently, causing Kara to grunt and tighten her hold. When Lena’s about to wrap both legs around Kara’s hips, she pulls away and sniffs the air.  
  
“Is something burning?”  
  
Lena pauses and her eyes widen. “Oh, _shit_. The potstickers!” She jumps off of the counter and rushes over to the stove, lifting the lid off of the pan and turning the overhead fan on to get rid of all the smoke and billows out. She sighs at the sight of the severely overdone dumplings.  
  
“I was trying to surprise you.”  
  
Kara grins at her and looks at the pan. “They’re not so bad.” She takes one out and blows on it gently before taking a bite.  
  
“Oh, god, Kara. You don’t have to eat it. We can order out.”  
  
With a mouthful of burned potsticker, Kara shakes her head. “No, they’re really not that bad. Honest!”  
  
Watching Kara eat her ruined dinner makes Lena feel something strange, like a light switch has just been turned on, and she’s not sure what comes over her, but she realizes that she is completely in love with Kara and that’s the only thing she’s certain of in this confusing mess of memories.  
  
“I love you,” she blurts out and Kara smiles at her.  
  
“I love you, too.”  
  
“We don’t belong here, Kara.” Everything starts flooding back - Supergirl’s reveal at the Pulitzer party, Lena’s estrangement from her family, her father’s death, meeting Kara for the first time, falling in love with her.  
  
Kara’s smile slowly droops into a frown and she furrows her brow. “I thought we’d gotten past this. We’ve been together for almost three years, our families love us, and,” she sighs, “I was going to wait until our anniversary, but I’ve still been holding this thing in my pocket for the past four months.” She kneels down and takes a small box out of her jacket pocket and holds it in her hand like she’s afraid of breaking it. “Lena...”  
  
Lena kneels down to meet Kara and puts her hands over the box. “No, Kara, this isn’t our life. Can you even remember what happened to your real parents? Eliza and Jeremiah adopted you when you were fourteen, after your parents died - on Krypton. The only reason why I know that is because I built an AI that found all of your history. I felt so betrayed by you, by you not telling me the truth for years and I was going to expose you. I was going to use you, to hurt you the way you hurt me. I need you to remember, because I need to tell you how I really feel about you.”  
  
Kara wrinkles her forehead in thought, like she’s trying to process everything Lena’s telling her. A look of recognition washes over her face and she looks at Lena like she’s seeing her for the first time in years.  
  
“I remember,” Kara says, eyes filling with tears. She’s remembering her entire history all over again, remembering everything she’s lost, the pain of it all opening like a wound that never healed properly. She falls to her knees and lets out a sob. Lena joining her and hugging her to her chest.  
  
“You’re Kara Danvers, you’re Kara Zor-El, and you’re Supergirl. And I love you.“

Kara clings to Lena’s shirt and cries harder, Lena feeling her own tears falling down her cheeks. They sit there together until Kara’s body stops shaking.  
  
“I’m so sorry for lying to you.”  
  
Lena shushes her and runs her hand across Kara’s back. “We’ve already gone over that. I understand why you did it, but it still hurts that I’m the last to know.”  
  
“I know, and I can’t take it back. But from here on out, you’ll know everything. I’ll tell J’onn and Alex to give you unrestricted access to the DEO.”  
  
Lena laughs. “I think after this, they’re never going to let me step foot in the DEO ever again.”  
  
Kara sits up and faces Lena. “I love you, too. I-I think that’s why I was so scared of losing you, too, because if I lost you as a friend, I’d lose you completely. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
  
Lifting a hand to Kara’s cheek, Lena leans forward and kisses Kara like her life depends on it and she lets every hurt feeling slip away for good. All of the broken pieces start to mend themselves and Lena allows herself to forgive. The walls of the apartment begin to crumble and the floor falls away beneath them, but they don’t notice, because they’re the only two things that exist.  
  
Lena opens her eyes and she’s back in her penthouse, standing in the same spot she was when she began the scenario. She looks to her right and sees Kara standing there beside her and she’s looking right back at her. Kara closes the distance immediately and pulls Lena close, wrapping her arms around her and resting her head in the crook of Lena’s neck.  
  
“I love you,” is the first thing Kara says to her.  
  
“I love you, too,” Lena chokes out and tightens her fists around the red cape that flows down to the floor.  
  
Hope appears at her base. “I‘m glad you’re back, Lena. I’m sorry that I trapped you both in there, but I needed to know that you would have someone to love and protect you. I needed to make sure Kara Zor-El was worthy.”  
  
Lena discontinues her AI research and scraps the virtual reality software, stating that it needs a complete overhaul. Many of L-Corp’s investors aren’t happy, especially Obsidian, but Lena assures them she’ll come up with something even better for them to sell. She and Kara talk more after that, continue having lunches together and, finally, Kara asks Lena on a real date. Lena starts going to game nights again, always with Kara as her partner, and everyone welcomes her back like nothing ever changed. The only thing that’s changed is that she and Kara steal more glances at each other and Alex tells them they’re not allowed to have sex at game nights, ever.  
  
Things get easier between Lena and Kara and the anger Lena used to feel when she saw Supergirl on her television morphs into pride. Kara makes sure to include Lena in things that are happening with her and the cases she’s working on. The DEO ends up hiring Lena to be a consultant and involves her in more of their cases, utilizing the L-Corp technology and it makes Kara wonder why they hadn’t done that from the beginning. She knows she’s the reason why, but no one holds it against her, especially Lena. Kara remembers the first time she sees Lena wearing the watch she gave her, but of course Lena tweaked it so that it’s more her style.  
  
The first time they argue as a couple is due to Kara forgetting that Lena takes her coffee black, but Kara doesn’t understand the point of black coffee at all when it tastes so bad. Lena forgives her instantly and they make up on the couch and the bed and briefly in the shower. For the first time that she can remember, Lena feels in complete control of all aspects of her life. Her brother is no longer trying to manipulate everything she touches, her mother has been borderline pleasant, and she has someone who loves her unconditionally.  
  
She has Kara. She has hope.


End file.
